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Contact Commander

Airborne Sarl
Raymond Gassmann
Charters Terminal
Route de l'Aeroport 5
PO Box 47
CH-1215 Geneva 15 Airport
SWITZERLAND
41 22 717 83 98 Main
41 22 717 83 97 Fax
Email:info@airborne.ch
COM-AIR Aircraft Sales & Service GMBH
Axel Beimdiek
Flugbedarf Siegerland
57299 Burbach
GERMANY
49 2736 4428 27 Main
49 2736 4428 25 Fax
Email:info@com-air.de
Commander High Performance School - Europe
Mike Perry
Hermes House, Saumarez St
St. Peter Port
Gurnsey GY1 2PU
CHANNEL ISLANDS
44 1481 725914 Main
44 1481 728807 Fax
UBI (Overseas) Ltd.
Michel Haddad
P.O. Box 3015
Larnaca International Airport
Larnaca,
CYPRUS
357 4 643213 Main
357 4 643214 Fax
Petromarine S.A.
John Papandreou, Chairman
Kolokotroni 133
Piraeus, 18636
GREECE
30 1 4533490 Main
30 1 4524096 Fax
Aero Service B.V.
Tom van der Meulen
Luchthaven lelystad
Emoeweg 24 8218 PC
Lelystad,
HOLLAND
31 320 288333 Main
31 320 288304 Fax
Aviomar S.R.L.
Riccardo Marano, President
Viale Tiziano - 108
Aeroporto dell 'Urbe
Rome, 00196
ITALY
39 6 883 27358 Main
39 6 812 3542 Fax
Glasfaser Italiana S.P.A.
Gianpaolo Ghidotti
Via delle Ghiaie, 3
24030 VALBREMBO (BG)
Codice Fiscale e Partita, IVA, 00225580166
ITALY
39 35 528 011 Main
39 35 528 310 Fax
Flyinvest
Per Nygaard-Ostby, Partner
Capralhaugen 86
Jar, 1342
NORWAY
47 67 14 85 25 Main
47 67 14 98 52 Fax
Bromma Air Maintenance AB
Ingemar Bjork, President
Hangar 4 Bromma Airport
161 69
Bromma,
SWEDEN
46 8 29 70 42 Main
46 8 98 63 11 Fax

Just some funny "technical stuff"

The aircraft technicians have their very own way of doing things with airplanes. We will try not to become too technical though....

From the "squawk sheets"

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."

Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."

Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."

Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."

Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.

Solution: Live bugs on order.

Problem: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.

Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: IFF inoperative.

Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

Solution: That's what they're there for.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."

Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."

Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."

Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."

Problem #2: "#1,#3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."

Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

 

design limits

A stormy flight aboard a Boeing aircraft; an off-duty airline stewardess is sitting next to a man in the grip of serious white-knuckle fever as he watches, through his porthole, the aircraft's wing bending and bouncing in the tempest. The stewardess tries to reassure him; she works in the industry and flies all the time, she tells him. There is nothing to worry about; the pilots have everything under control.

"Madam," he replies, "I am a Boeing engineer and we did not design this aircraft to do what it is doing."

 

how ill is the a/c

China in the eighties. A DC-3 (or similar?) loaded with tourist passengers starts up and is about to taxi. Then the engines are shut down again. The captain leaves the cockpit and adresses the passengers: "This plane ill! We take other plane!"

They all walk over to a DC-3 parked across the ramp. Engines started, and shut down again. Captain adresses passengers again: "This plane more ill! We take first plane!"